Letting Go of the Little Stuff
A Matter of Priorities
When we stop worrying about unimportant matters we can devote more to what is truly important.
We experience numerous disappointments each and every day. Our expectations go unmet, our plans are blocked by circumstance, our wishes go unfulfilled, and we discover that our lives are subject to a myriad of forces beyond our conscious control. In some cases, our response is powerful because we must invest ourselves and our resources to overcome genuine hardship. In others, our reactions are far more passionate than our circumstances likely warrant. The tension that permeates our bodies and minds when we are late for an event, interrupted at work, or sitting in traffic is not inappropriate, but it can interfere with our well-being in profound ways. When we stop worrying about relatively unimportant matters, we can be at peace and devote so much more of ourselves to what is truly important.
The small frustrations and irritations wield such power over us because they rob us of the illusion of control. But every problem is a potential teacher—a confusing situation is an opportunity to practice mindfulness, and difficult people provide us with opportunities to display compassion. There is a natural human tendency to invest copious amounts of emotional energy in minor dilemmas and frustrations in order to avoid confronting those more complex issues that are largely outside the realm of our control. The intensity of our response provides us with a temporary sense of personal power that helps us cope with challenges that might otherwise overwhelm us. But it is only when we let the little stuff go that we discover that the big stuff is not really so devastating after all.
In the stress of a singularly tense incident, differentiating between an inconsequential annoyance and a legitimate challenge can seem a monumental task. Ask yourself whether the emotions you are feeling will be as vivid in a year, a day, or even an hour. As focused as you are on this moment in time, your reward for letting go of your emotional investment may be the very happiness and harmony of being whose loss you are lamenting. Needless aggravation is seldom worth the cost it exacts. You cannot distance yourself from life’s inconsistencies, irritations, and upheavals, but you can relinquish your desire for perfect order and gain peace of mind in the process.
Acknowledging Our Pain – Rescuing the Rescuer
The strong desire to help and rescue others may sometimes be a call to help our own deep seated pain. Some people seem called to help others, often from very early on in their childhoods, responding to the needs of family members, strangers, or animals with a selflessness that is impressive. Often, these people appear to have very few needs of their own, and the focus of their lives is on rescuing, helping, and healing others.
While there are a few people who are truly able to sustain this completely giving lifestyle, the vast majority has needs that lie beneath the surface, unmet and often unseen. In these cases, their motivation to help others may be an extension of a deep desire to heal a wounded part of themselves that is starving for the kind of love and attention they dole out to those around them on a daily basis. For any number of reasons, they are unable to give themselves the love they need and so they give it to others. This does not mean that they are not meant to be helping others, but it does mean that they would do well to turn some of that helping energy within. Read Article / Comment »
Stop Smoking the drug free way..
Hypnotherapy is a Fantastic Tool to Help You to Quit Smoking Forever!
The success rate for stopping smoking using willpower is about 1%.
This is because willpower is a surefire method for setting up a conflict within yourself. By that I mean – part of you wants to smoke, but part of you doesn’t want to smoke, and you just end up arguing with yourself.
In my experience, hypnotherapy and a positive, personalised quit-smoking program is by far the most effective way to stop. It is natural and because it helps you carry out your decision easily and effectively, it tends to have fantastic long-term results.
If you really want to stop and feel the time is right, I am convinced I will help you to get there.
I’m certainly not preaching at you from a great height. I know how difficult it can be to get started and to get momentum.
Stopping is a very scary decision and, in my experience, most smokers worry that it’s going to be torture and they’ll spend the rest of their lives wishing they could have another cigarette and thinking about the damn things all the time!
But it needn’t be like that. Most smokers who stop using hypnotherapy find they very quickly forget to even think about it.
Don’t worry if you’ve tried to stop in the past and didn’t succeed. It doesn’t matter – you will find this approach very different.
I’m very confident I can help you. I offer a three-session stop smoking package which takes up to 2 hours. I also give you a free CD to take away with you. This means that you can build a strong new habit very quickly and keep getting the benefits even after you’ve left my office.
If you think it might be time to stop, then please do get in touch. Don’t delay or you might end up changing your mind. Life without smoking is the most incredible gift that you can give to yourself and others. And it really can be MUCH easier than you think. I’ve helped hundreds quit – you can too!
Return and Reclaim
Returning to Creative Dreams
Our creativity is an important part of being a well-rounded human being. For many of us, this has been shut down.
As children, many of us entertained fantasies or even goals of being an actor, singer, dancer, artist, or musician. In some cases, we received enough encouragement to develop our abilities in those creative arenas, but somewhere along the way we stopped. This stopping may have been due to circumstances beyond our control or to our own unconscious acts of self-sabotage. Being creative can be scary in a world that seems to value logic over imagination and practicality over dreaming. We can forgive ourselves for shutting down or turning our attention away from our inner artist, but perhaps we can also take steps to reclaim our dreams.
In certain times and places, developing a creative ability was considered an important part of being a well-rounded human being. It was not necessary to be a professional or a masterly genius, because the act of creativity was valued in and of itself. It gifts are manifold—from the sheer pleasure of allowing our imaginations free reign to sharing and enjoying the fruits of our labor. Children share drawings and songs freely, without self-consciousness, and there is no reason why we cannot do the same thing. You may already be remembering some lost form of expression, such as making jewelry or writing songs. Your soul may be responding with an energetic lift as it feels its way back to a time when it was allowed to express itself freely. Your brain, on the other hand, may be throwing up obstacles, like the idea that you are too old or do not have the time.
The truth is, you are not too old, and if you have time to pick up a pen, you have time to make a doodle or write a haiku. Recognize that the obstacles you find before you have arisen from a place of fear and that they will wane in power every time you do something creative. Each creative act takes you deeper into a realm of beauty and magic, a realm that you have every right to return to and reclaim.
Overcoming the Roadblocks to Healing
Much of the work done in clinical hypnotherapy is clearing roadblocks to health and wellness – our natural state.
Are you or someone you love feeling blocked from health and wellness? If yes, here are some important factors to consider.
Is the Illness and Pain a Subconscious Connection to a Loved One?
We all naturally seek connection. Connection is one of our deeper needs, and we all have a desire to feel connected to the people in our lives that we look up to and love. One of the ways that people create a feeling of connection is by emulating certain characteristics of the person they wish to feel connected to. This is called “identification with a central figure,” and it usually happens subconsciously.
Occasionally, in order to create a feeling of connection, people will subconsciously emulate negative traits, including illness and pain. If, for example, a parent suffered from migraine headaches, a person may develop migraines as a subconscious means of identifying with the parent. The subconscious creation of real migraine headaches is a way to be like the central figure, and being like them creates connection. This is an example of secondary gain. While the migraines are painful and clearly unwanted, they do provide the person with a positive benefit—a feeling of connection.
In cases like this, I help my clients identify other traits or characteristics of the central figure that are positive or constructive. For instance, if the parent was always very patient with them, the client could focus on developing their own patience with themselves and others.
The key is to become consciously aware of the desire for connection, and then to intentionally fulfill that desire in a healthy way by identifying and emulating positive aspects of the person being identified with. When that happens, the illness and pain have no more positive value, so the subconscious can create health instead.